Another Bloody Saturday and Sweet F.A.

AS I SEEN IT

RUNNING MONKEY  gets wound up again

This game will be remembered for all the wrong reasons. We had a perfectly respected two minutes silence before the game -apart from the turnstiles clicking all the way through it. Memo to chairman on the way.

We were treated to a march on by representatives from the armed services. It was a very fine sunny day, a bit like an August first game of the season, A poor turn out but nice to be amongst friends again - all 2744, including the travelling fans. The thick and thin regulars, not the whingeing cheap jack smart a*** that bellow from the kick off at every Pools player that kicks the ball. 

Sadly this turned out to be a war to end all wars between the fans and the referee. I know we should not blame the ref for our shortcomings but to fall for the three-card trick on Stevenage’s first attack was unforgiveable. Flinders dived full length for a ball that was being carried wide anyway and did catch a trailing ankle, which the attacker turned into a triple salko with pike and won his team a very dubious penalty. Aussie had already taken the ball and another pools player was on the line so it was not a last man and a scoring chance situation. OK a penalty maybe in the ref’s eyes who must have twenty twenty vision because I was closer than he was to the play. 

Now I am not an expert on footy rules but how many times have we seen a penalty given and not even a yellow card shown? Once again the footy rules that say a team should be punished twice for an incident like this need to be changed. Why should we be deprived of any player let alone a goalkeeper for eighty-eight minutes of a first round cup-tie to a dubious decision? 

To rewind a bit, our troubles started at training the day before when three players were ruled out injured: Sam Collins, Brownie, and Nish. Brownie, according to the night Mail was raring to go in this one, and of the three my guess is he was the one so sadly missed yesterday. Young Andy Rafferty came in to replace Ned at the expense of Horwood who you have to feel sorry for. Rafferty could do little to stop a well-taken penalty. From then on it was backs to the wall stuff as they targeted Richie down our left side with cross after cross raining in on Raffertys goal. The lad did good, and apart from one punch that went astray handled him self very well indeed throughout the game. 

"Flinders dived full length for a ball that was being carried wide anyway and did catch a trailing ankle, which the attacker turned into a triple salko with pike and won his team a very dubious penalty."

On the day all you ask for is a good clean entertaining game of footy and to have a win at the end is a bonus. What we do not need is a ref who was so biased against the home side on fifty fifty decisions I had to ask the question did he travel here on the visitors coach. I only ask because later in the game he did all but carry one of their subs off the pitch to save him the effort. OK I will not moan about another ref this season as long as I can do it here. He was probably the worst I have seen and even excusing the sending off I would never want him here at the Vic again, although records say he has done the same thing to us away from home too.

After a very tough first half playing a man short I welcomed the half time whistle just to ease the tension in my mate Ken who was warned by a steward that if he persisted on roaming up and down the town end with his Mr Angry from Ditchburn face on "it will be out the gate for you sonny boy". I can understand Ken’s frustration, which was not helped by our performance, which for the first half was desperate defending and a single header from Monky that went over the bar.

Pools did try to turn it around in the second half but the extra man made all the difference, I am not a believer in this theory that it is harder to play against ten men - give me eleven against ten every week. You have to feel sorry for Poole who ran his legs off, but was literally marked out of the game by the extra defender. There were cheers of derision when the ref actually gave us the odd free kick, but always in the middle of the park where it would cause no grief to the Stevenage team. You have to put your hands up and say they used the advantage very well. They were quick on the counter attack and played it to a fine line with the ref on the little niggly tackles and blocks, something we as a team need to learn. Apart from a header from Hartley and a couple of chances from Monky - one another powder-puff header from two yards, straight at the keeper's midriff, and a long range effort from around the edge of the box that hit the bar, and that was the end of our F.A. Cup experience for this season. 

Ps. I spoke to a lady at the reception today as we collected our team sheets and as we perused the team she said ‘that’s good Nish is out’ I said to her "Would you like to write for the bizz?" she said "Yes but it will get me into too much trouble". I thanked Mrs Hodcroft for her input and went off to the terrace to stake my claim.

What Do You Do with a Blank Saturday?

RUNNING MONKEY (the self-styled future king of the Headland) does a review of MB106

With the football being bloody awful over the last three games, instead of poring over the BBC SPORT replays of our lack of success, I declined to watch some abysmal tackling and woeful shooting with nil points at the end. Having time to waste I decided to run the rule over the new electronic Bizz and be inspired. 

Central Park 

- or to give it its real name, The Cement Works, a green belt of land between West View and God's acre that has never been built on because it is sinking rapidly. They say that on a very quiet night if you went to the centre spot on the footy pitch and put your ear to the ground you could hear the tide going out.

Central Park seemed like a sensible chap He purports to be a long suffering Pools fan and always claims ‘HIS’ spot next to the girder on the Town End, surrounded by his nodding-donkey mates who hang on his every word. Nothing wrong with that, we all have our favourite place to sit or stand, and you just have to suffer whoever comes to stand next to you. In truth this feller doesn’t know he is born - a lift to and from the game by his wife(!) to save him the “stress”, when he only has to fall out of bed and he is at the Vic. 

Once in the ground he expects the PA system to be turned down, as it is too noisy - his mates can’t hear his pontificating. He ridiculed his daughter’s boyfriend because he was a “Mackem”. If he was that bothered he should have brought his daughter up proper instead of getting her mixed up with a Mackem. He proceeded to whinge about his experience of BR and oh the stress of having to walk to the Stadium of Blight once he alighted from the sardine tin of a carriage at the Sunderland station. He then had to sit through a Chelsea warm up game. As he no idea this is why we Poolies are superior fans to the corporate Prem Shi* supporters. Why on earth did he not go that extra mile and support the lads who were only up the road at Carlisle? I have no sympathy for Mr Whingey of Hartlepool.

Ed Parkinson

Ed, Eddie, or Edie? This writer is new to me. One of the setbacks of going global with the Bizz is you never know who or where the contributors are coming from. They don’t stand on the terrace with you. Ed even claims in his first sentence that he won’t be at the match - he is busy sorting the French out. He might just be a canny lad who has got on a bit and forgotten his roots. He sounds as if he speaks a bit of Simian but he is a terrible namedropper. His one saving grace is that he was at Defeathams when Joe Joe stripped his shirt off, and when the mighty Effion put paid to the Doyles in their own over sized back yard. So he can’t be all bad.

Poolie in Nottingham

See what I mean about the global Bizz, Nottingham? What a bunch of robbers this lot are, claiming to be Poolies and it takes them ten weeks into the season to come and see their first home game at the Vic. Glory hunters doesn’t come into it. Unbeaten home or away in nine games and they turn up and put the bloody mockers on it. They turn up decked in their blue and white like they have never been away. It’s the kids I feel sorry for, brainwashed at three and a half years old, dragged screaming to the pub before the game. Honestly if I see them turn up again I am straight on to social services.

KT Poolie

Another fan I have no recollection of meeting. Male or female I have no idea, just going on the name KT it is probably a female that watches too much televised football. Knows all the clichéd sayings and drops them throughout the article like confetti. My guess is, judging by the spelling of some of the names he/she spent most of their school life behind the bike sheds with a fag or two.

Billy’s Contract

Another aging rocker living in the past, can you imagine the average age of the audience at the Sage and what a strange taste in music he has.

Grandad Shouty

What can you say about him apart from he always talks a lot of sense and we should respect our elders especially when he is near enough my age?

Ed Parkinson

Ed is back, this time he redeems himself big time with one statement. “I always make sure he wears his POOLS shirt for the match”. Memo to editor. How come he gets two articles in the Bizz and I have been here longer than him.

Billy’s Contract

Another double article. How come during a lifetime you meet so many people who are favoured. Well that should be the end of his reign, asking for Pools to falter in their record run so he could have a moan about it. I blame the substances used these days. Hallucinating about mythical places while trying to find his way home. No wonder he gets the “giddy yonks. On top of that he claims we are all illegitimate Poolies. Is it any wonder he got beat up three times in a fortnight when he came to the Headland, He was probably thought to be another spy ready to expose the Headland People’s Republic for their arms build up. The very thing we on the Headland want to keep quiet about is the very place its self. Why on earth would you want strangers walking round poking their noses in where they are not wanted? Yes we are proud of our heritage so bugger off and don’t come back till you are invited.

This piece got left out of MB107 by mistake, but as it was referring specifically to MB106, we didn't think we should hold it over for MB108.

Pools 0 - Tranmere 2

AS I SEEN IT

Or, rather, as RUNNING MONKEY wishes he hadn't saw it!

After results in recent weeks and the fact that we had beaten Chipperfields on Saturday, albeit by a one goal margin, I was actually looking forward to this home game. Mainly because, unless the F A cup draw is favourable to us, then it will be a full month before we have another home game.

News that MW was sticking with the same line-up seemed to cheer a few. Early doors, Luscombe, who came home from Chesterfield with good reports, had a dip which the keeper tipped over, but similarly Ned was called into action as Aussie lost the ball and allowing a shot on goal.

Pools started to take things in hand and there were some good passages of play and Poole made a great run and crossed to Aussie coming in the other side, who set up Monky but he hit wide of the mark. Pools were really pressuring Tranmere who looked to catch us on the break but Pools kept them on the back foot.

Twenty-five minutes into the game the three Pools stands started clapping which they kept up for a full minute then the chants for Michael Maidens rang out over the Vic. A nice tribute carried over from Saturday’s game. The significance of the twenty-five Maidens shirt number lost on the stewards.

Ned was called into action as Pools took their foot off the gas and allowed them back into the game. A shot blocked and another tipped over must have set the alarm ringing for MW, who was up on his feet shouting orders. I could feel it in my water - Pools were going to have one of those days - play them off the park and end up with a draw. The consensus at half time was just that we would do better second half kicking to the Town End.

How wrong could one be? Almost as a throw back to the Turner days when we invariably gave away silly goals after his team talk, we did just that: two passes, a shot blocked, and then the ball was in the net. Once again we find ourselves one down before we even get settled. Someone really must take those easy chairs out of the dressing room; we are far too casual in our approach after the break."I could feel it in my water - Pools were going to have one of those days - play them off the park and end up with a draw."

I was saddened to see Luscombe take a dive on the edge of the box to win a free kick. I always thought we were above that kind of shenanighans. Thankfully we did not profit from it.

Their second goal was even easier than that. A long throw seemed to go straight in the net but I found out later that it had been nicked in by a Tranmere player and in truth they deserved it. We won the first half nil nil and they won the contest 2-0. We did rally a little but it was never enough threat on their goal. We did have three shots in succession that were beaten away, but with Monky, Brownie, Poole and Boydie on together, it was desperate measures, and apart from an attempted scissor kick from Lidds, we did not trouble their keeper, and the incessant hoofing the ball up was wasted effort.

Roll on Saturday

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